It is without doubt a sign of age when the bingo wings become a consideration. I have many things, a fat arse, ‘heavy thighs’ (as I think my Grandmother once called them) and unsightly bunions, but the one thing I never had is bingo wings. Until now. And they only really came to my attention because when I was grinding chilli pepper on some steaks for the bbq the other night, my friend said to me, ‘Tabs, every time you grind, it makes your bingo wings flap’. Cue hysterics, both happy giggles and absolute horror that my wings were flapping in the kitchen. WTF?! How could this be? They used to be fine, they never used to be there! And more importantly, If I am not even safe from judgement in my own kitchen where am I safe? So I fled to my bathroom to have a look, to examine. And it was at this moment that I realised we have been looking at ourselves for so long that we never really see ourselves any more…so as my ‘wings’ had increased, I just never really noticed. I had thought I was still fine wearing little strappy tops and prancing around in my bikini, but maybe everyone else had been judging. The horror! However, as every good girl does, I went back downstairs, drank more rose, ate more doritos, and then promptly googled ‘getting rid of bingo wings with a pepper grinder’. I kid you not, done the right way I might just be ok if I keep on grinding.